DesireBook

Intimacy & Desire

Awaken the Passion In Your Relationship

The pioneering guide to sexual desire

Buy Intimacy & Desire

Intimacy & Desire shows how to create the desire, intimacy, love, and connection modern couples expect and demand.

Become more resilient, sexy, and loving...read more

Paperback versionavailable now!

From Beaufort Books

46% of unemployed men report decreased sexual desire.

Affordable relationship-saving help for couples struggling with economic hard times.
Click to purchase.

German version!released March 2011

From Klett-Cotta Verlag

Release of German language version of Intimacy & Desire was accompanied by 5 city workshop tour by Dr. Schnarch

Ulm, Bochum, Berlin, Hamburg & Stuttgart...read more

Normal healthy coupleshave desire problems

Mismatched Desire?

Intimacy & Desire explains why normal healthy couples with good relationships have sexual desire problems.

Turn this into passion and personal growth....read more

Now an eBook!

Available in the most popular formats!

Choose from Kindle, Nook, or Kobo.

Free Audio Files

One Hour Interviews
with Dr. David Schnarch
Just added!Emotional Committment
& Great Sex
recorded at Soundstrue
Listen now or download free.
at www.crucible4points.com
Other free interviews also available.
Workshop recordings by Dr. Schnarch available in our store.
Listen Now!

Intimacy & Desire

Outstanding Contribution to Marriage & Family Therapy Award

Dr. David Schnarch is the recipient of the 2011 Outstanding Achievement to Marriage & Family Therapy Award from the American Association for Marriage & Family Therapy.

By the author of Passionate Marriage

Intimacy & Desire is written by the author of Passionate Marriage.

World-renowned sex and relationship therapist, Dr. David Schnarch.

Passionate Marriage is an international best-seller, with over 300,000 books sold in the USA.

Visit Crucible4Points.com

Crucible4Points.com offers additional resources for couples and singles.

Workshops & Public Lectures

Online Social Community

Crucible 4 Points of Balance

Helpful Forums

MP3 Audio Files

Additional Books
Click here to visit

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The Great Therapy Debate

How much is too much:

empathy?
confrontation?
focus on fears?
focus on autonomy?

Pithy exchanges between
Dr. Schnarch and other therapists on
"Psychotherapy Networker"

Click here to read

Therapist Readers

Written for the general public, easy to read.

Therapists around the world read Intimacy & Desire too.

mind-mapping brain science
full references in endnotes
textbook-type index

Crucible Intimacy & Desire Workshop

November 3-6, 2011
Culver City (LA), CA

This practice-oriented program focuses on clinical application of the Crucible^® Approach to sexual desire problems.

Couples Enrichment Weekends

Passionate Marriage^® Couples Enrichment Weekends reveal the true nature of emotional and sexual intimacy in committed relationships.

Final 2011 CEW: Seattle (October 14-16)

Intensive Therapy Program

Some couples augment Intimacy & Desire with our (fly-in) Intensive Therapy Program, based on the same approach of the book.

Available to people from across the country and around the world.

Click here to read more.

Take Our Sex in Relationship Survey

Over 20,000 people have taken our Sex in Relationship Survey.

Click here to take the Survey

See your score.

Sex Survey Result #1

1 out of 4 (23%) people keep their eyes closed during sex.

Another 13% open their eyes but never look at their partner.

Sex Survey Result #2

Only 34% of people kiss multiple times in every sexual encounter.

14% don't kiss half the time.

23% rarely kiss at all.

Sex Survey Result #3

20,000 people rated their sex:

14%--dead
30%--comatose, in danger of dying
32%--asleep, needs wakeup call

17%--alive and well
8%--robust, erotic, passionate

Sex Survey Summary

In other words, 75% of 20,000 people say their sex life is lousy!

Normal people have sex that isn't worth wanting.

Sometimes low desire is good judgment!

Sex Survey Summary

Normal people need Intimacy & Desire

Intimacy & Desire offers time-tested tools for creating deep intimacy, passionate sex, and a thriving relationship.

Click here to purchase copies.

Intimacy & Desire Reviews

“David Schnarch has always written with remarkable sense and passion about sexual intimacy..."

“David Schnarch is a gifted and admired clinician who knows the truth about sexuality in a relationship..."

“The unblinking David Schnarch, our foremost expert at the intersection of sex, love, and passion, has honored us with Intimacy & Desire..."

“A comprehensive integrative approach to intimacy and desire..."

"Once again, David Schnarch gives us a roadmap for understanding and working with couples struggling with issues around sexual desire..."

"Readers sick of typical glossy-magazine self-help patter about reigniting romance, or the droning pomposity of most author-experts, will be pleasantly surprised..."

“Intimacy & Desire hits a fundamental and most prevalent sexual problem in relationships: imbalance in sexual desires between the partners..."

“This is a must read for any couple facing sexual desire problems in their relationship..."

“How do you keep a sexual relationship alive, intimate and passionate? David Schnarch offers the best answers..."

“Dr. Schnarch is my kind of therapist; his approach is about the connection of minds before the connection of bodies..."

“I think the present book by Dr. Schnarch will be a turning point in the understanding and therapy of sexual problems..."

“Once again, Dr. Schnarch's unique perspective on a "solid sense of self" and "differentiation" continues to provide valuable insights..."

Ideas to Ponder by Dr. David Schnarch

Ideas To Ponder

"Ideas to Ponder" are summary ideas at the end of each chapter of Intimacy & Desire. The Ideas to Ponder Blog unpacks these key thoughts, principles, or observations, and highlights additional points within Intimacy & Desire.

Sexual Relationships Always Consists of 'Leftovers'

Sexual relationships always consist of “leftovers.” People have sex up to the limits of their sexual development. The solution to sexual boredom involves stepping outside your familiar repertoire and creating novelty. This raises your anxiety, challenges your identity, and shakes up your relationship.

People have sex up to the limits of their sexual development. The solution to sexual boredom involves stepping outside your familiar repertoire and creating novelty. This raises your anxiety, challenges your identity, and shakes up your relationship.

Sex and Self-Development Between The Sheets

"Sexual novelty is always introduced unilaterally. The solution to sexual boredom involves stepping outside your familiar repertoire and creating novelty. This raises your anxiety, challenges your identity, and shakes up your relationship."

Decoding The Logic of Sexual Relationships

"Differentiation is your ability to hold on to yourself when your partner or your children pressure you to conform. It's your ability to balance your desire for attachment and connection with your desire for autonomy and self-direction. Differentiation is a major drive wheel of love relationships and of Crucible^® Therapy.

Developing and maintaining a solid sense of self greatly shapes your sexual desire. Your reflected sense of self and solid self often outweigh horniness, hormones or you desire for intimacy and attachment. Issues of selfhood trump neurotransmitters every time.

Sex and self-development don't generally seem connected to most people. Intimacy & Desire explains how sex and selfhood are interwoven through millions of years of human evolution. This article provides more clarification on this point.